I feel as though I’ve consistently been trying to portray
what it’s like in India, but haven’t been doing a very good job. So, let’s talk
about India. Let’s talk about some of the many things (recognizing that India
is HUGE and these are just from my experiences) that make India, India. The things that you would never
see in the U.S (or, rarely would.) This is small list, since my experiences
here are fairly limited. I apologize for lack of pictures on this post; promise
there will be more.
First, some background and basic information:
Population:
It is the 2nd largest population in the world, containing 1,220,800,359
people. Yup, that’s a lot of people. The U.S is the 3rd largest with
about 317,000,000 people in the country. That’s a pretty big gap in population.
It’s almost, in terms of area, only a bit over 1/3 the size of the United
States. So not even half the size of the US in land size and has more than 3.5
times the population of the United States.
Religion:
80.5% of the population is Hindu, 13.4% Muslim and 2.3% Christian. There are
other religious sects in India, but these are the top four.
Language:
My host mom said that if I drove 10km I would hear the people speaking a
different dialect. She’s absolutely right. There are thousands of local
languages in India. However, India has 14 official languages, the most widely
spoken being Hindi.
Government:
It’s technically a Federal Republic.
When
it got its freedom: It was a British
Colony until 1947. That’s pretty recently…
1.
Arranged Marriage. Most marriages in India, are
arranged by the parents and family. The dowry system is still very much in
place. (The dowry system is what the bride’s family gives to the husband and
his family. It usually entails money and other extravagant gifts.) The first
question I’m asked when I meet someone new is, “Are you married?” And when I
say, No, definitely not. They then ask if there are arranged marriages. When I
say No, they’re love marriages; their faces looked surprised. Some people like
the idea of a love marriage, but a lot of the time they say, “Oh, so you have
to find someone on your own? That sounds so hard!” The idea of finding someone
on by yourself, is intimidating to them. The whole dating culture here, doesn’t
exist. You are shown a man, you talk, and if you get along, you get married. I think it’s also shocking because that means
I, as a 20 year old female, am traveling alone without a male escort.
I think this
important to think about because, at least for me, the initially idea of
arranged marriages sounded less then appealing. But after speaking with these
women and families, I’ve come to realize maybe it’s not as bad as I thought.
Their families (usually) want them to be happy and will try and find a man they
are compatible with. If it’s what they are used to and grow up with, why should
a love marriage be viewed as any better. Especially when 50% of marriages in
the US currently end in divorce. Just something to think about.
2.
Auto Rickshaws. These little guys are unique,
terrifying and so much fun all at the same time. They are like enclosed
motorcycles (except in tricycle form) They have three wheels, a motor, a small
front space for a driver and then depending on the quality of the rickshaw
enough space for three people comfortably. This of course means you fit six or
more people in the auto. In Udaipur there were ten of us, including the driver.
Auto’s are the public transportation of choice; and you bargain for the fee; at
least in Jaipur. Here in Calicut, they use meters which I nice. Last month there
was a strike from the auto walas (the people that drive them) because they want
to increase their pay/starting point for prices because of the expensive price
of gas. Autowala drivers are some of the poorest people in the country.
3.
Kids living with their parents until they are
married. My host sister is almost 30 I believe, but since she is not married,
she still lives at home. And my host mom cooks for her and my host brother,
cleans up for them, takes care of the house, etc. In India, the fact that I work
AND go to school is astounding. That would never happen here. In India, you
stay a kid for a much longer period of time.
4.
Patriarchy. Yes, the United States could still
be considered a male dominated society. And yes, there are issues, problems and
discrimination that women still face today in America. I don’t want to say that
America doesn’t have problems because it most definitely does. However, that
being said, India is definitely much more patriarchal. Women cannot buy
alcohol, cigarettes, smoke, walk alone after dark or even walk down the street
without being harassed (or eve-teasing as they call it here.)There is a women’s
section on the bus and on the trains. Women are restricted in their ability to
pursue education and can be viewed as a burden because the families then have
to find them a husband and pay a dowry. Female feticide is a problem here.
I would like
to point out though, that women are letting their voice be heard. There are
movements across the country. One example is the Pink Sari Gang. It I a group
of women, thousands of them, that assemble to protect women from violence. If
they see a woman being harassed or physically grabbed by a man, this group of
women descend and starting hitting the man in the same way he was hitting the
woman. They have a phone number, you can call if you need help and they will
send the closest member to you to help you defend yourself. There is still a
lot of work that needs to be done in regards to violence against women, but
statements are being made.
Pink Sari Gang (not my photo, photo from: www.thenational.ae)
5.
Being welcomed into a home, no questions asked.
I show up at someone’s house to conduct an interview and not only do they
welcome me in to speak with them, but they offer me fresh made fruit juice. I’ve
had papaya juice, mango shake, coconut shake, pineapple shakes so many times at
this point. Then they will serve me snacks, fresh made pastries and sometimes,
they even make me lunch. These people are excited to share their culture with
me and in Kerala food is a huge part of it. So they go out of their way to
welcome me in, agree to an interview and greet me like family. Even the girls
that have been nice enough to take me from interview to interview, they’ve
welcomed me to their villages and to their homes to show me around. This is something I feel happens very rarely
in the U.S. I spoke about this last semester as well, how in Morocco, your door
is always open. It’s the same here, and I’m really going to miss it when I’m back
in the State. I have never felt more welcome.
I think a really good example of this is the community we've built with the SIT group as a whole and our program center. It truly is a home when I wasn't at my host families home (which was very welcoming as well)
6.
Electricity going off and on. Electricity is
expensive here and since there are so many people they do electricity cuts
during the summer. Some of you might remember last summer there was a huge
power outage in India. These power cut are
to try and avoid another disaster like that. It comes and goes in short bursts.
It makes for writing papers an adventure; always making sure your laptop is
fully charged. Gas is also really expensive and difficult to get; hence why Colleen and I are cooking off of this:
7.
Local vendors and shops. They’re everywhere.
Fruit stands, juice stand, lassi stands, clothing, stitching, tailoring, it’s everywhere. Yes, there is big business in India (however,
a lot of them are U.S and other foreign companies looking to outsource for
cheaper labor). Please, don’t hold a grudge against India for “taking our jobs”,
they are simply taking opportunities to work that we are offering them. Raise
your problems with corporate America if you dislike the system; enough with the
call center jokes. If you were in a
country, trying to make a living, and a foreign company offers you a job…you
wouldn’t say no. You need to live too. So anyways, that’s a side rant for
another day.
Local businesses are widely
supported when possible and are literally everywhere. Take away business from
WalMart and support local business.
8.
Staying close to your family. Here, family is
important. I went with this girl who helped me translate an interview, and when
we got to her neighborhood, all 20 houses belonged to her family. You stay
close to them. This is starting to change and people are spreading out more.
Traditionally though, you stay close and you value your family in a way that I
don’t think happens in the U.S.
Here's a lovely picture of my host mom :)
9.
Vegetarianism. In Northern India a lot of the
community I vegetarian. A LOT, as is MOST. Some are non-veg on certain days.
And on auspicious days, you really can’t cook meat. My family was vegetarian,
but they would cook me eggs some days for breakfast. While in Jaipur I was essentially
vegetarian .Now that we’re in South India, seafood is HUGE. A lot of people
here are not vegetarian. I would like to point out that I did love the food in
Jaipur (so long as it wasn’t filled with green chilies, they like their food
SPICY.) Since I can’t eat really spicy food, every interaction I had with a
host family was positive, they would make food without the spice just for me.
People here are very considerate and went out of their way to make me as comfortable
as possible.
10.
Finally, number 10. Honestly, there are so many
things that are incredibly different in India that a complete list isn’t even
possible. I’ll give a quick run-down I guess of a couple other big things in
this culture:
o Marriages
are HUGE, like, thousands of people attend them.
o There
is school on Saturdays.
o Education
is VERY competitive here.
o Nose
piercings, in the North, are everywhere. Yes, I got one.Here's where:
o You
are served Chai (or milk tea) every time you enter a new persons house.
o Cell
phone SIM cards are really hard to get, due to terrorist cells in India.
o Trains
here are absurd; you have to book tickets months in advance. (Hence why Colleen
and I are still on the wait list to get from Kerala to Jaipur…woops.)
o BOLLYWOOD
IS AMAZING AND YOU SHOULD WATCH IT.
§ But
actually.
Here's a wonderful link to a catchy song from the first Bollywood movie we saw: watch it, love it, let it get stuck in your head.
People have been asking if I like Morocco or India
better. I think it’s hard to say the more I think about it. I loved Morocco and
miss it a lot; but I’ve also really enjoyed my time in India. The people here
have been wonderful (despite the staring, Yes…I’m white, I’m aware, now TURN
AROUND) but this happened in Morocco too. Every place has its pros and cons and
it’s important to remember that. I leave in a little over two weeks and I’m
finding that I’m genuinely sad because I feel there is a much higher chance of
me going back to Morocco than of me getting back to India. Hopefully I will,
there’s still so much to see. It’s wonderful, spiritual and culturally diverse
place, along with all its crazy contradictions and the thing I don’t enjoy;
like the eve-teasing (street harassment) and trash being the top two things.
But let’s be real, I’ve grown a lot here and have discovered a lot of things.
There’s just something about India that makes you think and contextualize your own life; and puts you in a position to not only adapt, but push and change yourself in ways that I have found are positive. :)
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